Guide for Teachers 2

Supporting Brothers and Sisters of Children with Renal Conditions: Information for Teachers

Schools are an invaluable source of help

The brother or sister of a child with kidney failure is often the forgotten child.

At a time when the family is overwhelmed by the emotional and physical stress of caring for the sick child, the needs of the well sibling may be overlooked. Time, focus and energy will be concentrated on being with the sick child when in hospital and catering to their needs. It is a time of family anxiety and disruption.

The healthy child is also affected, often carries a burden of stress, and may feel anxious, isolated and insecure.

This child may be coping with feelings of anger, guilt, or jealously and resentment.

They need special support at this time. Teachers need to be aware of the siblings needs and treat them with sensitivity and understanding.

Be alert for the following:

Please be aware of the following signs of stress:

• Behavioural changes, eg anger, difficulty in controlling emotions
• Sudden decline in school performance
• Detachment from friends
• Significant non-attendance at school
• General withdrawal.

International studies show that siblings are at great risk educationally, almost as much as any child with any chronic illness.

These children can suffer from the misunderstandings of others, eg fear about catching the illness, and may become socially isolated and teased because they have a brother or sister who is different. It may be hard for them to invite friends home when treatments and equipment take up time and space. Some children do need a mass of equipment, including machines.

How the teacher can help

• Encourage these children and keep in touch with the family
• Foster understanding. With the families consent, it may be help to have someone explain to the class what it is like living with a brother or sister with this condition.
• Ask after the wellbeing of other children in the family, as well as the sick brother or sister. They need to feel special too.
• If they are away from school, keep in touch. They may be absent more than normal as the family visits hospitals or specialists. Could others help them with transport issues?
• Set them schoolwork similar to that of their friends in class when they are absent so that they stay involved.
• Encourage friends to support, keep in touch, and visit.
• If they get behind in school, offer special support if possible.
• Stay calm during outbursts.
• In secondary schools, use the Guidance Department for support. This can help resolve anxiety, resolve conflicts, and help the child find an individual pathway.

The child will have the following supports:

• Kidney Kids Support Group
• Social worker assigned to the family
• Access to a hospital based child counselling service
• Educational support and advice from the hospital teacher, or, at Starship, the Auckland Hospital School.
• School, which is also a vital place of support for them.

Your school is a special place for this child; it is a world unchanged by the illness of the brother or sister and it is part of the normal world for them.

School is:

• a place of security
• a place of friends
• their place
• a place of normality
• an escape from the environment of illness, outside family stresses.

Siblings of children with chronic illnesses are special people who can develop special qualities of strength, caring and giving. They need to be nurtured to reach that potential.